The reason I began this, my first blog ever, was actually to keep a sort of journal of my daily journey (hmm, wonder if those words have the same root - interesting) on the road to becoming Me. (In astrology - at least the branch I follow - your natal chart isn't just who you are, its sort of where you start becoming, a kind of seed moment for the person you're destined to grow into over the course of a lifetime. It all gets rather esoteric and very quantummy, so I won't go on about it too much here - its already been done so much better by others anyway - the genius astrological thinker, Dennis Elwell, for example.) This was the recommendation of our tutor at the start of my current course module, Transits and Solar Returns, since, as with most things, we tend to learn most effectively through our own stuff.
Of course, being me (with a little m - I am still on the long road to becoming Me) I wandered immediately off topic into What Happened Today. Anyway, since it turns out its quite fun to record my outer life too, I've decided to leave it as is for now and just add a tab (if only I can figure out how...) for the inner stuff. That way, when I look back it will be easy to flip between the 2 and see any astrological correlations that may emerge over time. I'll try it and see how it goes.
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Tuesday, 07 December 2010, 15.29
Aargh! managed to delete 3 posts... What I remember follows:
Very tired yesterday, up and down, more feeling sorry for myself.
Much better today. Watching Foyle with Kitty last night sort of fell into a place where I can decide to relax. Feeling more on top of things today - the problem with choices is they are an active principle - you still have to be motivated to make them.
Saturday, 04 December 2010, 13.10
Up and down so far today - minimal self loathing this morning although couldn't sleep around 4.30am for feelings of inadequacy so got up and went downstairs to surf the net for a bit.
K and I bonded a bit deeper after our mini ordeal in the shower yesterday - as always, feels nice to be connecting with someone.
Wishing I had more focus and drive.
